Barry Bonds(notes) just cannot win right now.

• Nobody will hire him to play baseball.

• His 20-year-old son is going to trial for spitting in his own mother's face and other misdemeanors.

• The dude can't even get himself some chicken and waffles without being beaten to the punch by the San Francisco Giants' greatest rival, the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Thanks to Roberto Baly over at Vin Scully Is My Homeboy, we have a detailed blog-witness account of what happened when Bonds and the Dodgers winter caravan collided at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, a Hollywood institution and celebrity hotspot.

Barry ain't getting his waffles — that's what happens!

I like this photo, mostly because the sun shines on Roberto (he's the angelic figure at the far left) but there's a dark shadow cast over most of Bonds. Hey, hasn't Barry been associated with shadows somewhere before?

Below, more details from the Roscoe's stop on the caravan. Hurry up and get inside, Barry, or else you'll miss Lady Gaga!

As if the earlier presence of Gaga wasn't enough, and with such Dodgers as Matt Kemp(notes), James McDonald(notes), Ramon Troncoso(notes) and Fernando Valenzuela (above) already there, the fan's feeding frenzy got that much greater outside when word got around that Bonds was stopping by for brunch.

Take it away, Roberto.

From VSIMH:

Looks like Mr. Bonds wanted to eat some Chicken and Waffles. He didn't know there were so many Dodger fans inside the building. Fans came out and asked for his autograph. Believe it or not, he did sign. He was in a good mood (I'm not kidding) until a fan gave him a ball and told him [to write] "In the sweet spot."

Wow. I guess he's a rookie. I shook my head. Another fan by my side looked at him and whispered "Are you nuts?" I knew what was going to happen next.

Bonds snapped. "You don't say that to me," he said. "I'm leaving, I got to go."

Dodgers fans had chased Barry Bonds out of Roscoe's! And without him eating!

He got cock-a-doodle blocked.

It must have been a real downer for Barry to be denied Roscoe's, a soul food mecca that helped to popularize and mainstream the seemingly incongruous coupling of chicken and waffles. It's destination for such tourists as Ludacris or the fellas in "Swingers." Larry King (hello!) and Snoop Dogg have summit meetings there. The place has a catchy commercial, too.

But none for Barry. And after all of the trouble Bonds took to be a nice guy and sign some autographs.

More from Roberto:

This is the second time I met Bonds. The other was ... around 1995 at Dodger Stadium. Dodger coach Manny Mota was interviewing him for his daily radio show that he does for the Spanish network. We had a friend that knew Mota and ... let us in early. I don't remember much about the encounter but when the interview was over me and my brother asked him for his autograph. He did it. I know he did it because he didn't want to look bad in front of Mota.

But on Wednesday he was alone. He could have blown off everyone and acted like a jerk, the way he used to do with the media. But he didn't. Well, not until that one fan got him angry.

We'll probably never know if Barry got his chicken and waffles on at another Roscoe's location, or if he just walked into a Denny's and ordered the waitress to rustle it up special. Maybe he went to that place with the giant donut on the roof.

If anyone knows, let us know, too.

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Batter's Box
Established: 2001
Specialty: Blue Jays, minor leagues, historical excursions
Post We're Proud of: Major League Philosophy
Who We Are: "Batter's Box is a place where dedicated baseball fans gather to share their views, insights and analyses of the baseball world, with a particular emphasis on the Toronto Blue Jays. While most of our writers are based in Canada, we don't limit our horizons to Canadian baseball events. We strive to provide a detailed level of baseball commentary from a wide array of angles while still being fun and (more than occasionally) irreverent."

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Bluebird Banter RSS
Established: December 2005
Twitter: @bluebirdbanter
Specialty: Commentary
Post We're Proud of: Top 50 all-time Jays
Who We Are: "The Jays blog on SB Nation. We talk about all things related to the Jays."

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The Blue Jay Hunter RSS
Established: August 2007
Twitter: @BlueJayHunter
Specialty: Commentary, game summaries and analysis, baseball moustaches
Post We're Proud Of: The Best Moustaches in Baseball - Part One and Part Two
Who We Are: "The Blue Jay Hunter takes a look at the Toronto Blue Jays and baseball under the cross-hairs of scrutiny, mixed with just a hint of humor and a shred of dignity. What started as an innocent love affair with the Blue Jays as a child has turned into a full-on obsession with the team today, where I scrutinize, analyze and nit-pick what others would consider to be trivial decisions or statistics ... and that's because they are trivial."

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Drunk Jays Fans RSS
Established: December 2006
Twitter: @DrunkJaysFans
Specialty: Foul-mouthed ranting.
Post We're Proud Of: The Roy Halladay Trade, The Drunk Jays Fans Third Annual Guide To The Interwebs
Who We Are: "Aspiring cult leaders, degenerates following baseball, offering sometimes thoughtful, sometimes warped, often drunken, profane, and hopefully always entertaining harangues on the state of our Blue Jays, their owners, their fans, and the media who follow them."

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Ghostrunner on First RSS
Twitter: @LloydtheBarber
Specialty: Stats & Pitch F/X Analysis, Ironic Detachment, The Nature of Fandom, Tired Satire, Rosterbation
Post We're Proud Of: Life Vests Float, Kids Don't, on the value of roster construction. A Day in the Life of Roy Halladay, on being a cyborg.
Who We Are: "Lifelong Jays fan with a slightly skewed, slightly egocentric take on all things Blue Jays. We love stats, style, defense, and the promise of a new day."

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Infield Fly RSS
Established: February 2009
Twitter: @infieldflyrule
Specialty: Blue Jays commentary with an occasional foray into Canadian baseball in general.
Post We're Proud of: An idea regarding Vernon Wells
Who We Are: "Inspired by the frustrating experience that is being a Blue Jays fan, Infield Fly takes its name from one of the most frustrating situations into which you can watch one of your players hit. We're novice stats nerds and longtime baseball fans, so you'll read us moan about The Cito and we might even throw in a few stats to back up our beefs. Surprisingly though, we'll probably defend Vernon Wells(notes) in just about any situation."

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Jays Balk RSS
Established: November 2009
Twitter: @JaysBalk
Specialty: Link aggregator + commentary
Post we're proud of: Cy-onara Doc
Who we are: "Two aspiring sports journalists/broadcasters, one from Toronto and one from Halifax, blogging our way through Carleton's Bachelor of Journalism program. Jays Balk is meant to be an informative, entertaining and unique point of view on all things Jays. The name finds its origins in our amusement with baseball's often obscure rules, and our endless cleverness. Our favourite non-baseball sport is J.P. bashing, but luckily we have been forced into retirement. We like to think we provide enough of a detailed analysis to satisfy the disciples of the Sabermetric Manifesto, but balance it out with enough simplicity and humour to lure the non Ph.D level fans." 

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Jays Journal RSS
Established: September 2009
Twitter: @bluejaysdaze
Specialty: Commentary, Minor leagues, interviews, personal experiences
Post We're Proud of: Will Jays ever draft in top 4 again?
Who We Are: "As part of the Fansided.com Sports Blogs family, Jays Journal seeks to provide fans with a forum to exchange information about the Blue Jays and baseball happenings. We offer this with a huge emphasis on the Jays prospects and examining GM trades and transactions. Interviews and chats will also become a major part of the site as 2010 develops."

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Mop Up Duty RSS
Established: August 2006 
Twitter: @mopupduty
Specialty: Toronto Blue Jays, International Baseball, Scandal, Commentary, Player & Prospect Bios, Nostalgia, Human Interest, SABR
Post We're Proud of: Roy Halladay's Reinvention & My Cuban Baseball Experience
Who We Are: "Cleaning up the mess that other baseball blogs leave behind. Two Toronto Blue Jays fans with varied baseball backgrounds write on a wide array of subjects.  Our content is skewed toward the discerning baseball fan who enjoys a bit of scandal for fun."

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Sports And The City
Established: October 2006
Twitter: @eyebleaf
Specialty: Commentary and Statistics
Post we're proud of: "Man Of The Hour" (The post, about the always awesome Vernon Wells, elicited a response from SI's Joe Posnanski on his blog.)
Who We Are: "A member of The Score's Sports Federation of blogs, Sports And The City is a Toronto sports blog which chronicles the struggles of the city's local sports teams, including the forever mediocre Toronto Blue Jays. Sure, it's been 17 years since we've had a sniff of playoff baseball, but we haven't stopped believing. And we never will. At Sports And The City, the glass is always full. And we're always one season away from winning the pennant. Go Jays. Playoffs!!!1 (And we miss you, Doc.)" 

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The Tao of Stieb RSS
Established: April 2007
Twitter: @TaoOfStieb, @TheAck
Specialty: Reaction, reflection, commentary, perspective, links and the occasional awkward fumbling with statistical analysis.
Post we're proud of: Halladay and the Persistence of Change
Who we are: "We are all about the Blue Jays: Reminiscing about the glorious past; kvetching about the underwhelming present; fretting over the uncertain future. We also tend to be a bit petulant and contrarian, and spend much time picking apart the axiomatic pseudo-knowledge espoused by the hockey-centric Canadian sports media. (And on Fridays, we dance!)" 

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Mainstream media

Jordan Bastian, MLB.com @MLBastian Blog
Jeff Blair, The Globe and Mail @GloBlair
Bob Elliott, Toronto Sun @elliottbaseball
Richard Griffin, Toronto Star Blog
Robert MacLeod, The Globe and Mail Blog
Mike Wilner, The Fan 590 Blog

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It sounds like Adam Dunn(notes) is looking forward to his full-time move to first base for reasons other than simply avoiding on-your-butt mishaps like this one in Milwaukee's left field. 

While speaking with the WaPo's Dan Steinberg on a wide variety of topics, the  Nationals slugger said he also enjoys the social aspect of the position.

And after sampling some of the barbs he's going to hand out to NL East opponents, I'm thinking he would have fit right in during last month's late night mud slinging.

Check out what he has to say about guys like David Wright(notes) and Brian McCann(notes).  

From DC Sports Bog:

"He said he was surprised how much he enjoyed playing first base, with the ability to chat an added benefit. For example?

"'Depends who it is,' he said. 'I've got my buddies, and we've got a lot of things to talk about. Other people, I have no idea what to talk about. For instance, say Brian McCann was over there, I would probably make some sort of fat joke, something like that. I would talk to David Wright about how he can't hit homers any more. It depends.'"

I don't think that scoring high as an insult comic will help Dunn's UZR, but it's amazing how much Dunn must have enjoyed appearing on Conan's last show while singing Freebird. 

Steinberg also hit a few other topics with Dunn, including his new affinity for jiu-jitsu (really) and his insistence that he never wants to be a full-time designated hitter (really). 

"It's pinch-hitting four times," Dunn told Steinberg. "Pinch-hitting's hard."

We all have questions about the 2010 season and Alex Remington luckily has some answers. The Stew's resident stats guru will address three  per week as Opening Day approaches.   

The Situation: Tommy Hanson(notes) was one of the best rookie pitchers in baseball last year, finishing third in the National League Rookie of the Year award despite not making his first appearance until June 7. He likely would have won the award if he had pitched 35 more innings, enough to qualify for the ERA title. As it was, he still won 11 games with a 2.89 ERA at the age of 22. Suffice to say that the former top pitching prospect in baseball lived up to his big expectations.

But after the departure of Javier Vazquez(notes), the No. 1 starter on the Braves will be Tim Hudson(notes), who has pitched 42 innings since returning from Tommy John surgery last summer. Four months into Hanson's career, the Braves will need Tommy to pitch like an ace if they have designs on the NL East title.

The Question: How much can the Braves really expect to get out of a 23-year-old who pitched only 127 big league innings in 2009? How do they handle him with baby gloves while also capitalizing on his great first season?

The Analysis: With any young pitcher, the need to protect their health is paramount. In fact, Hanson and the Dodgers' Clayton Kershaw(notes) did something that only seven other under-23 pitchers have done in the past 25 years, posting a 2.89 ERA in at least 127 innings.

The others to achieve the same feat? Kevin Appier, Mark Prior(notes), Bruce Ruffin, Lance McCullers, Sid Fernandez, Bret Saberhagen and Doc Gooden (twice). Each saw their careers hampered by injury and were more or less out of baseball by their mid-30s. All were fabulously talented — Appier, Gooden, Saberhagen and Prior finished third or better in the Cy Young voting by their 25th birthday — which undoubtedly encouraged their managers to put a lot of miles on their arms.

But sooner or later, they all paid the piper. A great year for Hanson in 2010 could have adverse affects down the line, if the Braves aren't careful with his innings.

One of the greatest risks, especially with phenoms, is increasing their workload too quickly. The so-called "Verducci Effect," named after SI's Tom Verducci, states that the injury risk increases for young pitchers whose inning workloads increase by more than 30 innings over their previous year's total. The Braves seem to have kept this in mind: Between the minors and Arizona Fall League, Hanson pitched 166 2/3 innings in 2008. Between the minors and majors he pitched 194 innings in 2009 — about a third of them in a much lower-pressure environment in Triple-A.

Hanson pitched about a full season's workload last year, which means that he should be able to handle 30 starts in the major leagues in 2010. Also promising for the Braves is that he truly seemed to get better as the year progressed. In his first month, he was 4-0 with a 2.48 ERA, but he had an unsustainably bad 5.6 K/9 and 5.3 BB/9 in 29 innings. In his next three months, he was 7-4 with a 3.01 ERA, but a terrific 8.9 K/9 and 2.6 BB/9. Fangraphs' David Golebiewski found that he got a lot of swinging strikes, which means that his strikeouts are likely to stay high. He probably did get lucky — his BABIP was just .280, and his FIP was 3.50, which means that his performance is likely to regress a bit in 2010.

Most projection systems agree: the Bill James system projects him for 191 innings and a 3.30 ERA (with a 3.63 FIP); CHONE projects 152 innings and a 3.91 ERA (with a 3.98 FIP); Heater Magazine's fantasy baseball guide, Graphical Player 2010, projects 180 innings and a 4.46 ERA. Hanson likely won't be a 20-game winner next year, and the Braves shouldn't mind. Investing in arm rest and arm strength now will have big payoffs down the line.

The Forecast for 2010: The Braves will keep sending Hanson out every fifth day, but they won't hesitate to yank him in the 7th and hand the ball off to Peter Moylan(notes) and new acquisitions Takashi Saito(notes) and Billy Wagner(notes). Barring injury, he'll finish with around 15 wins and an ERA between 3.50 and 4.00, and will be one of the best 23-year-old pitchers in baseball. National League hitters should just be glad he's not 24 yet.